


The pain inside

by Selana



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Emotional Hurt, F/M, Hurt, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-03-03
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:07:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selana/pseuds/Selana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike is hurting, inside, and tries to forget about it, to replace the pain with another kind of pain.</p><p>"Spike knew they were hurting each other, hurting themselves - and Buffy knew as well. But neither of them cared."</p>
            </blockquote>





	The pain inside

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea where this came from, it just popped into my mind while I was grocery shopping and demanded to be written. I haven't watched Buffy in ages.
> 
> Thanks, as always, to my wonderful beta [faeleverte](http://archiveofourown.org/users/faeleverte) who is always there to encourage me to write more - and who helps me find the inevitable mistakes and make my stories so much better.
> 
> Please leave comments to let me know what you think of this or any of the other stories in the series so far. I always love to hear from my readers, even if it is criticism - as long as it stays polite. You don't have to like my writing, you can certainly tell me when you don't like it, but mind your language, please.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just wish I would. So I just borrow them for some fun

Spike knew they were hurting each other, hurting themselves - and Buffy knew as well. But neither of them cared.

For him, those moments with Buffy - hurting each other, fighting, fucking, whatever it was that night, sometimes both - were the only time when he could forget about the pain inside. He was a monster who couldn’t maim and kill and destroy any more. He was a man who didn’t have a soul, who had done horrible things. Which world did he belong to? Neither man nor monster, somewhere in between, nothing at all. Instinct told him one thing, his mind another, he felt torn apart, barely holding himself together.

And then there she was, strong, fierce, hurting as much as he did, lashing out so she wouldn’t be the only one in pain. She didn’t see his inner struggle, he didn’t want her to. Instead she marked him with fists and nails and teeth and lips, pushed him away and pulled him closer at the same time. 

Her nails dug into his back, leaving bloody trails of fire and pain. He arched into it, welcoming the pain, a sign that he was still here, still alive. He retaliated by pulling her head back roughly, biting her shoulder with blunt teeth, barely low enough for her to cover up until the bruising had faded. They weren’t gentle, didn’t need to be, could take what the other dished out.

Pain, pleasure, it all turned into one, a heady mix of sensations and lust. When she left, Spike savoured every mark she had left on his body, every lingering pain - way too soon they would fade, be gone, leave nothing but the hurt inside, the one that wouldn’t lessen over time, just get worse.

**Author's Note:**

> you can find me on [tumblr](http://selana1505.tumblr.com), for random ramblings, fandom related posts, knitting and the occasional bit of fanfic


End file.
